Phone Picture and Notebook Jottings

An evening on the beach. It's quiet.
The wind is blowing just enough to allow a zip-up hoodie.
The waves roll steadily- a sound and a smell that are oh, so familiar.
There's just enough cloud cover and just enough setting sun to create a deep green/red hue on the shoreline filled with trees.
The soft, muted blue and the light colored sand are the perfect combination.
The air I breathe is heavier- but not in an oppressive way.
It's almost...healing. Or maybe fulfilling. Or maybe a word of it's own.
It's as if right now, everything is perfect.
Peaceful, calm, and right.
This is the place where I just feel...content.
No matter what happens during the year, all is the same again.
It's a haven- a place where all fear, doubt, and responsibility are left behind for awhile.
Because here....I'm allowed to breathe.
No expectations.
Just breathe.

lyric night

warning: cheesy moment starting.

some nights for me are simply (as i call them) lyric nights. i can have my pandora on (and usually do) for hours a day, but most of the time it's just background noise. good background noise. 

music can be such a mood-changer. that's why it's a blessing and can also be a stumbling block. 

but anyways, i listen to a lot of music.

and some nights, it just seems that lyrics stand out more. 

Excerpt from the song, Be Still My Heart by The Postal Service

Oh how you laughed

At my complete lack of grace.

But I could not recall

A more perfect fall

Cause when I looked up into your eyes

It didn't hurt at all.

And I thought, be still my heart

This could be a brand new start, with you.

you guys, i'm a dork. but this describes one of the most amazing things ever. at least for me. for real. and i'm lucky blessed enough to have a complete lack of grace, that doesn't hurt at all.

cheesy moment. out.

bring me...

the kind of peace only the Lord can give.

a car ride home, without the radio, as the sun sets.

a card from a great friend with genuine encouragement and a perfect verse.

a good moisturizer, light and breathable, but one my skin drinks in.

a great idea for organization and the confidence that it will work.

a candle, a fan making a slight hum, and a comfortable, cozy corner.

there i will find a calm spirit that firmly believes, no matter the circumstances, i can and will be content.

i am getting so much done it's crazy.
nevermind the fact that there's still just as much left to do.
but honestly, i've been so motivated lately. 
for me it's been going to work, and spending almost all of my home time also doing work.
and i think i kind of like it. i'm not worn out yet
yeah, some things get frustrating and take way too much time,
and i can't sleep at night because my restless mind runs through all eight of my checklists.
shh...(i even have a checklist of checklists)... nerd.
but for the most part, it's getting done! and i like that.
god has been blessing me with enough health and energy to keep powering through and being positive.

mom and i are the busy bees of the family lately.

i'm working on wedding stuff and sorting through all of my belongings so i can move with only as much as necessary.


mom is sorting through everything in the house too, and giving me some precious gems....like these old hankies that were once in my great-aunt Millie's house.having something old like these is just so precious. it's a little piece of her life and memory as well as a look into those times.
plus...they're nice to look at and will hopefully find a place in our home some day. :)

seriously,
it's kind of fun.
and i'm getting way to excited about little things.



in other news...i have been reminded of just how much i love my mother's old book collection check this out:

my favorite titles:
Engine Whistles
The Oregon Trail
Elementary Algebra
The Swiss Family Robinson
Mental Efficiency

too funny.
i love my mother.

july 8th

there are certain things in life that just don't make sense.

like,
how i try and try to french braid my hair while looking in a mirror, but it only turns out when i braid it while i'm watching a movie in the dark.
and,
how i can be so tired all day, but as soon as i lie down to sleep, i'm wide awake.

sigh.

July

We're halfway through the year already. That kind of makes me sad.
But what doesn't make me sad is what happens in two months.

June 27th

Heads up to probably the only one who reads this (and is a guy). This will be a girlier post than my usuals. Therefore, bear with me a moment while I pretend I have an audience. :)



Life is strange.
I've been revisiting old memories, as well as looking forward to new moments
.



I've spent the last couple of days sorting through old boxes after work. Due to my upcoming marriage, and earlier upcoming room switch-up happening, I've been sorting through/throwing away old stuff. Wow. How things have changed. In between silly notes written back and forth and journal posts/notes jotted everywhere...I can't believe how "hard" Jr. high was. It's weird thinking back to those days when everything was such a big deal. It's humorous, in a way, to reminisce about old crushes that were the biggest deal in the world, fights with friends, and insecurities about the silliest things. Wow! Who was that girl?? And all the high school memorabilia? It meant so much to me back then. And yes, there are some really, really, good memories there. But in the grand scheme of things...I've really changed.Those things are no longer as important. And for the first time in years...I'm really okay with that and letting go.

Fast forward to now. I wonder what things that I worry about now will seem so silly in the future. Will I laugh about how much I worried about decorations for our wedding? Will I snicker at the honest-to-goodness insecurity I feel about learning how to do make-up for my wedding?? Will I look back and wonder why in the world I spent so much time thinking about whether or not I picked out the right dresses, location, music, anything? (Okay..I'm kind of already at that point). But really. If any of my  imaginary readers are out there actually reading...please tell me I'm not alone in worrying about such things--and then tell me to stop. :)

On another note...
I should add another disclaimer. I never promised this post would be organized. It's getting pretty random...
The Lord is teaching me so much. lately. The last couple of days he's spoken to me a couple of things.
1. Wake up with an intention to praise him. My alarm buzzed at 5:15...I really didn't want to crawl out of bed. But then, I thought, "You know, I'm blessed to have this job. So blessed." The more I thought that, the more my heart changed. Lord, I mean it. I'm so thankful. You have blessed me, and I will enjoy every second you've given me (and my ability) to work.
2. Cast your cares onto him- he carries them. For real. Last night I was up late, running through my never-ending checklist in my head. It was intense. I was stressing. I knew I needed to sleep, but I didn't want to because I had so much to think about. But then...bam. He put on my heart- "Give me your concerns. They will be taken care of. Rest. Trust me, and rest." A couple minutes of prayer later...I slept like a baby. Not a care in the world that I had to bear.
You guys...God is good. So good. Let him teach you...and change you.

Goodnight,
Hannah