Sunsets

Seven forty-five is too soon for the sun to set, just like any time is too soon for good company to leave.

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In the past, I've been thrilled about September. I could feel the change of season in the air. In the Midwest, it seemed that September came, and always brought with it a gentle breeze that blew in the wonder of fall. Oh, I couldn't wait for that breeze to come. I always had a fresh schedule, I couldn't wait for the trees to begin to turn, and I lived for walks outside in the comfortable temperatures. Out came the jeans, out came the candles to burn, and apples, oh yes, apples.

This year just seems...off. The air still feels very much summery and not a bit fall-like. We're all still wearing shorts and tank tops 99% of the time. Giant bugs are still flying everywhere. The pace of life has not changed. Every year, up until last year, September meant the beginning of school. Last year, meant the beginning of married life. This year, I'm in Virginia, on the same schedule I've had for months now. This year, September just seems like another month of summer, with the sun setting too early.

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I am a very nostalgic person. It's in my nature, as much as I try to put it behind me. I'm also a major thinker. I get lost in my own thoughts way too often. Sometimes, I view these characteristics as non-threatening, and sometimes I have to curb them from taking over my present joy.

The past week was a week that I wanted to hold onto forever, but unfortunately, I could not. Wrapped in that week was our first anniversary and a week with Keagan's parents and sister. I truly wanted to write so much. I wanted to write about a year ago, the time leading up to the wedding, the wedding, and the early life after. I wanted to write about this year, our anniversary, and the fun we had all week. Unfortunately, my writing impulses were slowed once again-- thank you, laptop, for biting the dust.  Now, I have Keagan's laptop as a temporary substitute, but going back on writing impulses never seems to work for me.

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Like unpacking a suitcase after vacation, putting an apartment back together after having company is emotionally deflating. Normally, I like a neat, clean, apartment with everything in it's place. But having company means blankets in a stack, air mattresses against the wall, suitcases in the corner, coffee cups on the counter, and towels hanging all over the bathroom. Putting each thing back in it's place just means....our apartment is empty again. I like quiet, I like order, but having good company throws those likes to the back burner.

Independence is good- I like it. I am good at it. But a lot changes when your favorite company is across the country. It's a good thing, to have people worth missing, but it's also hard to bounce back from the treasured days spent together. Yet, we move on. We enjoy those days, enjoy the present days, and look forward to the days ahead. We accept that sometimes the sun sets sooner than we want it to, but it's all a part of the change of seasons. The wonderful, hopeful, change of seasons.

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