the moment i lie down to sleep at night, the thoughts start running. it rarely fails. the business of the day stops and i finally halt activity and my brain kicks in and says, ''now is the time to think of everything!" it's kind of an unfortunate situation. but sometimes, it's enlightening.
anyways. that's what is happening tonight. i was lying here, ready to sleep, and boom. thoughts. flowing. everywhere. and they wouldn't stop. so, the endless flow of thoughts led me to the blog. maybe if i type it will get it all out?
life's kind of funny. i feel like the (insert word i'm trying to think of here) of facebook, twitter, blogs, pinterest, etc. is turning our lives into a big show and tell. let me post all of the great things that are happening to me! ooh, something awesome happened...facebook status! it's really easy to look at other people's lives, at least according to the internet, and be unsatisfied with your own. i blog, but i don't take stunning pictures, cook delicious recipes, i am not big on going all natural and organic. i am on pinterest, but i can't do or have 88.9% of what shows up on those boards. i live, but my life seems like nothing compared to how those lives appear on those sites. how silly. but really, when it comes down to it, that's not how their lives really are. and my pages? that's not how my life really is either. on the internet it is so easy to pick and choose what is going to be shown. we sculpt our lives into whatever shape we want others to see.
i feel like the moment that we realize life isn't perfect (nor will it ever be), then we are able to start enjoying it. when i'm not caught up in the mirage of someone else's perfect life, i let myself live mine...and be happy about it. those lives that you see? they're filtered. they're altered and carefully plucked so that all that is left is the shiny, perfect, spotless picture. there's more to it then what is there, so don't let that mirage make you unhappy about the life you live due to imperfections and challenges. and all those awesome ideas, tips, tricks, etc. that i see? inspiration is nice...sometimes. but not when i let myself slip slowly into the realization that i'm never going to do all of that.oh well. what does it all measure up to anyways?
it seems like we walk on eggshells sometimes. we carefully tiptoe around certain areas and adjust our portfolios depending on who we want to please and why. we pull out the "i'm really brave and accomplished!" card with some people, and the "man, i'm really struggling and want you to feel sorry for me" card with the others. we're afraid of what to say and what not to say, what to wear and what not to wear, and what to post and what not to post. why? because we wonder what it will make our lives look like. we wonder what picture of us it is painting. then, when everyone is gone, and our computers are off...we're left with who we really are. are you happy with what's there? even if no one can see?
i don't even know where i'm going with this. i haven't reached a conclusion yet. but honestly, sometimes i just want to stop walking on eggshells and do life. life that makes me happy when no one is around and i'm not posting about it. i'm just living. i'm realizing that life isn't perfect and that what i have is pretty dang great. i'm blessed, i'm thankful, i'm sometimes strange and quirky. i don't live a cookie cutter life. i don't have everything figured out. life is beautiful anyways. and i enjoy it.
