Numbers

2 more days in the field for Keagan
3 more days living in Oklahoma
4 more days until we are in Iowa for Christmas
13ish more days until we are in Minnesota for Christmas
22 more days until we return to Oklahoma to finish packing and cleaning
28 more days until we arrive in California
37ish more days until we have a house - like 800 feet from the Pacific Ocean

Yep. Things are moving pretty quickly here. I have settled into the cycle that is becoming more and more familiar. Clean. Pack. Pack. And Clean. But, I try not to do too much, because I know that we still have a few days that I need to fill up appropriately. I cannot believe that five months and seven days ago we got to Oklahoma. Now, it's time to run back and forth a bit before settling in to a house that will be our home for the next three years.

Three years in one place is hard for me to fathom. Three years ago, we weren't even married yet. We weren't even engaged. In three years, we got engaged, graduated college, got married, lived in Iowa, moved to Virginia, got a dog, moved to Florida, moved to Oklahoma, and now we are moving yet again. A lot can happen in three years, and those are just the main events.

I have big ideas and dreams for the next three years. As hard as it is to say goodbye to yet another phase in our life, I love that I can still look back and be content with it. I have enjoyed every phase so far. I have met wonderful people along the way and seen many beautiful things. I love this crazy, wonderful life that gets to be ours. I have learned a lot along the way. I am ready to embrace the next phase, once again.

It's officially that time again. The time where my mind realizes that it is time to think about moving once again.

The checklists start to pile up.
It's time to tell the landlord we're leaving soon.
It's time to write meal plans to use up whatever mysterious things that have made their way to the way back crevices of the freezer and pantry.
It's that time when the dog starts to notice that something is happening and gets a little anxious.
It's that time where we still have quite a bit of time, but the checklist lover in me is getting antsy to check off all of the lovely boxes.

Getting ready mode. I like it, and I dislike it, all at the same time. But really, it's just another season to go through. A season to embrace. A season not to rush through.

~~~

I really, truly, love moving. The goodbyes and the packing? Not so much. But the anticipation of a new place, and new people, and reconnecting with other people? That gets me excited. The thought of getting in a car and driving through states I have never seen before? Also exciting.

This military lifestyle that we live has taught me a lot - and I hope it continues to. It has taught me to know when to embrace and to know when to let go. It has taught me to be okay with not knowing. It has taught me to differentiate between the things that really matter, and the things that I can live without. It has taught me to be organized, and ready, but also to wait, and be flexible.

~~~

Keagan is finishing up his last few days of BOLC (artillery school). After that, he has about a month of Marine-specific training. Then, it's most likely a visit back home for the Holidays, before driving out to California. This move will be a little different, as it is not "temporary." If all goes as planned, California will be our new home for three years. That is hard to imagine. I am excited. Excited, but also nervous that I will get restless. As always though, I can't wait to see what our next adventure holds. 

Let's not forget to tell our stories

Tonight is one of those nights where I had to force myself away from work, make myself some hot tea, and let myself just sit, and rest, and be. Last week turned out to be a very busy week, with an unexpected three day visit, ten hours away. That meant that when we returned I tried super hard to catch up on work, and unpacking, and sleep, and the dishes, and then more work. Somehow I got stuck in the rut and this week all I want to do is work, work, work. But...I just need to be.

I just need to stop chasing a goal, and remember what it feels like to breathe.

~~~

I am so, so, thankful for families and their legacies. 

I am very thankful that I married into a great family that I truly enjoy spending time with. I am extremely blessed to have parents who are willing to drive a couple of hours after their already busy workdays in order to have supper with me. My families are so worth long drives and little sleep.

~~~

I have been reading letters for a few months now - from a WWII soldier to my great-aunt. My mom has scanned them one by one and sent them in the mail to me every couple of days. She also includes pictures of my great-aunt, her fiance, and other family members. I read the letters, I look at the pictures, and I talk to my mother - all to know more about a beautiful, difficult, story that is a part of my family's past. 

I recently heard many stories about a woman in my husband's family that I never really knew, but I wish that I did. She lived a life worth remembering, and telling about. I could hear in the stories just how much she meant to her family. I learned the ways in which she passed her skills and her character on to her children, and her grandchildren.

~~~

We need to share our stories. For those who are close to us, these stories are precious. Whether it be on a blog that you share with family and friends, or letters, or simply passing stories around your families, it is important to share your stories. Even more important? Listen. Listen to the stories told by others. These are the things that we should hold on to and treasure. These are the things that matter. 

I don't like pumpkin spice, but I still love fall.

We have won the battle of the fleas! After a few too many long walks/runs in the long grass with the dog, we had a mild flea problem on our hands. But after washing every single thing imaginable, spraying everything down, vacuuming everything, and 6 days straight of Dawn baths, we have won. Take that little nasties. 

This week was also full of a Harry Potter marathon with friends (we made it to the sixth movie...), an ice-cream date, chicken fajitas, and making caramel apples.

~~~ 

The weather was cool enough today to put on a sweatshirt as I walked the dog. It was nice to feel a taste of fall, since we have still been hovering around 80-90 degrees with lots of sun. As I walked and enjoyed the crisp air, I thought about fall - my favorite season, hands down. 

For many years, I spent fall in Minnesota. Fall in Minnesota was made of leaves quickly changing color, and then falling swiftly to take on their new role of underfoot crunch-makers. It was made of fields of corn and beans slowly turning brown and then getting gobbled up by combines. It was made of running cross-country meets, watching football games, and hearing NFL games on the TV (I rarely watched, but the sound makes me nostalgic). It was made of the smell of burning leaves. It was made of thin gloves and earbands. 

Then, after getting married, I spent a fall in Iowa. It was almost the same as Minnesota, only this time I got to live on a farm. That fall was even more dreamy - newly married bliss, new adventures, and experiencing the harvest from a much closer distance. Fall in Iowa was made of walks down the gravel road surrounded by corn fields, a new job that I loved, finding excuses to linger outside, and a kitten following us around everywhere. We fell asleep to the sound of a grain dryer, and watched as the fields around our little acreage disappeared row by row. Oh, and it was kind of dusty, but still pretty dreamy.

The next fall, we were in Virginia. Fall came late in Virginia. The temperatures stayed steady for a long, long, time, but when fall came, it was gorgeous. The dropping temperatures were a welcome relief that called me to walk longer, breathe deeper, and enjoy more fully. Fall in Virginia was made of long hours for Keagan, and many quiet nights with candles, books, and blankets for me. Fall was a constant supply of Rolos in a mason jar on the counter. Fall was gorgeous – leaves of every color that hung on well through November. Fall was rare trips into D.C. and one of my favorite weekends ever – soaking in the incredible, breathtaking beauty at Great Falls. Fall was a season of tiredness – and pushing through the end of Keagan’s training. Fall was finding a way for me to keep busy, by trying dozens of new, cozy, recipes

Fall in Oklahoma, seems just a bit different. Maybe it’s because it isn’t quite here yet, but I still have high hopes for it. Maybe this fall will be for staying tanner longer, keeping patio doors open all weekend, and caramel apples with friends. Maybe we’ll have ice-cream dates instead of apple cider for awhile. Maybe the leaves won’t change until November. But maybe, that’ll be okay. It’s easy for me to see pictures of the world back “home.” Falling leaves and fields slowly disappearing row by row, kind of make me homesick. But every fall I’ve enjoyed so far has been just as wonderful in its own way. So, if fall doesn’t come in full splendor here, I think it’ll still be okay. Because this fall, might be for something different. 

Oklahoma

We are already over halfway through our time here in Oklahoma. I don't blog as much anymore, and the other day I realized that I kind of miss it. Some sweet friends asked me about it too ;) Writing is good for me. It helps me process and allows me to share - even if I sometimes feel a little insecure about it. Writing also helps me remember, and I want to be present and mindful enough to slow down, and record memories rather than rushing through the day to day business. So, I am going to try to do it more regularly again. A lot has happened since I last wrote, so this post will be a bit of a dumping-everything-out post.... (I warned you)

Oklahoma has been so good to us. Despite all of the negative things people told us before we got here, we have truly felt comfortable here.

Lawton is a small, unexciting town, but it kind of feels like home. We are typically homebodies anyways, so the fact that there's not much excitement out in town is not a big deal to us.

Closer to home than we have been/probably ever will be as long as Keagan is in the military. Having family visit a few times has been so fun.

The weather is...well...getting better. Up until a week ago, the weather was 100+ every.single.day. Now, the mornings and evenings are getting cooler, but I definitely don't feel like it is fall yet.

The people are incredible. Two other Marine wives live right by me and we have spent many days at the pool, going for walks, laughing, and enjoying good food. I am thankful for how kind, friendly, and accepting they are.

The adventures are endless. We have stepped out of our comfort zone more here than past places, and it has been good.

The walks behind our complex make my heart happy. I have spent nearly every evening walking Zulu as the sun sets behind the mountains. They are definitely one of the things I will miss the most.

Running? I can't believe I am doing it again, but I am. Keagan and I ran a 5K together, so I had a goal to reach. I thought I would stop after that, but I feel good about doing it again!

Working while sitting on my couch, or at the desk, or on the porch - anywhere I want. I love it. It's the best. It's not my dream job, but I love the lifestyle it allows me to have while also working!

The skies are so incredibly dreamy. I can't get enough. At all.

The full sized bed...is the ONE thing I am sooooo ready to be done with. Rental furniture kind of gets old. We want our bed back.

Reading lots and lots of books. Maybe I will tell you about them soon.

Balance is something I have been working on a lot and enjoying a lot. I have learned a lot about myself in the past few months and I am feeling good. Very good.

The first post after a break is always the hardest to get out. Here's to attempting to get back on the blogging train. :)

Thoughts on Moving

On June 30th, I sat on the floor of our Florida apartment with a very unhappy dog as we watched two men pack up most of our belongings. This was the first move we didn't do by ourselves and let me tell you, it felt so weird watching other people pack all of our stuff. I felt so lazy, but was not allowed to touch a thing.

This move was very different from the other military moves we have been through. This time, I spent a few days separating our belongings into two groups. 

1. The stuff we would be taking to our furnished apartment in Oklahoma for five months

2. The stuff we would let packers pack and store in California for five months

I was grossly overconfident that I could handle this task no problem. You see, when you are moving to a new state for the third time in fourteen months, you feel pretty confident about the process. Confidence in and of itself, is not a bad thing, but I apparently forgot that I am not a professional...yet. And real life doesn't always cooperate with your perfect plan.

My thoughts were this: Packing and fitting everything we need for five months into two cars won't be that hard! My siblings will visit and leave on Friday morning and I will sort, paint, clean and be ready by Monday! 

Reality was: Deciding what to bring and what to pack is a lot harder than one would think. Even when you are really selective, two cars do not have as much space as you think they do. By the way, someone pulled an illegal move, causing your husband to get in a car accident and total the more reliable of your two cars three days before moving day. So yeah...you are going to have to get a rental car. Oh, and all that time you thought you had? Not so much.

I panicked a little. But guess what? We got everything in my little Grand Prix and the rental SUV without having to throw away the vacuum cleaner or a box of my beloved J.R. Watkins. Keagan is a miracle worker.

We left Monday night and arrived Tuesday afternoon in Oklahoma and followed our arrival tradition of getting all the boxes inside our new place and ordering pizza. 

We crawled into bed that night pretty exhausted from all of the craziness of dealing with moving and the accident, only to find that Keagan was too long for the bed that came with our apartment, the fan in our room constantly clicked, Zulu was very upset with us for not letting her sleep in the bed (this move was hard on her), and a loud thunderstorm was raging outside. I did not sleep a wink. 

My emotions were pretty spent at this point. Leaving Florida and the good experiences and friends we had was not very easy, especially knowing we would just be going to another temporary place. So much had happened in just five days and we were in such a time crunch that I had no time to process it. It was adjustment time. And guess what? This time, it didn't take long. 

That's the funny thing. Each time, it gets a little easier to move. And each time something challenging happens, it is a little easier to handle. Abnormal has begun to feel so normal for us, and I really, really like that. I am grateful for the experiences that we now have under our belts, and the character we have started to build thanks to the challenges that are thrown our way.

The truth of life is that difficult things are going to happen, but most of the time, we can handle them just fine. Now that we are on the other side, it all seems so trivial. 

Three weeks later, our new apartment feels like home. Keagan has started Artillery school and I am trying to work online as close to full time as I can. We are still dealing with insurance, but you know what...that's life, and I am very thankful for it.

Booking It - Round 2

 You guys, I am way overdue to tell you about what I've been reading lately. Let's get to it. See Round 1 here.

Tuesdays with Morrie- Mitch Albom Oh my. What a book. Tuesdays with Morrie tells the story of a student and a college professor. In college, Mitch, the student, often visited with his professor, Morrie. After graduation, he promised to keep in touch, but sadly did not. When Mitch learns that his professor is slowly passing away, he makes a point to visit Morrie once again. One visit turns into weekly visits and Morrie gives his student one last class - How to Live. This is not a book to read while also catching bits and pieces of the Olympics (I tried). This is not a book to read in short chunks here and there. This is not a book to read every night before bed. This is not a book to read while being distracted by anyone. This is a book to read, preferably in two long sittings, with no distractions, while soaking in every word. The story line itself is wonderful enough, but the way that Albom writes is incredible. It's some of the most beautiful writing I have ever read. Everyone needs to read this book...and take notes. Just talking about it makes me want to read it again.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. You have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

"You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age is not a competitive issue."

"If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."

Wild - Cheryl Strayed I'm sure most of you have at least heard of this book, so I won't tell you too much about it. It's a great read, though. I was on the waiting list at the library forever and when I finally got my hands on this, they gave me the large print edition of course. :) Cheryl's story is incredible. I had a very hard time putting the book down at the end of each night. There were some parts of the book I could have done without, but overall I appreciated her honest, detailed account of her journey to come to peace with her life. It almost made me want to go buy a pair of hiking boots - well...almost.

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak I had heard so many good things about this book, but apparently it just wasn't the right time for me to read it. Reading this book got me in a bit of a reading rut. I picked it up, started reading, and had to try really hard to keep going. I kept pushing myself to try to continue, because like I said, I had heard so many good things about it! I tried for a couple weeks and just couldn't get into it. I'm not sure why. The writing was wonderful, so maybe I'll give it another shot at another time.






The Lord of Opium - Nancy Farmer This is the sequel to a book I mentioned last time, The House of the Scorpion. I really enjoyed the continuing story of Matt and his quest to make his country a better place. Again, he was faced with ethical battles and gained a new challenge - rebuilding the way an entire civilization has operated for many years. It was a little slower read than the first book, but was also different enough to keep me interested. I'm really hoping she turns this into a trilogy!

Fearless - Eric Blehm This book tells the story of Navy SEAL Adam Brown. Brown was part of SEAL team SIX - the well-known unit that took down Osama bin Laden, but this book goes so much deeper into the life of a true hero. It tells the story of a man who was always adventurous and brave, from the day he was born. After high school, he got caught up in drugs and his life began to look hopeless. This tribute to Adam tells the story of the true darkness his addiction caused, the struggle to overcome, and a new focused life after he committed his life to Christ and joined the Navy. Adam was an unlikely candidate for the SEALs, but his incredible courage helped him overcome many weaknesses. In 2010, Adam died overseas, but he was ready. He was never afraid to step in front of danger to protect others and knew that no matter what happened on this Earth, nothing could take away his Spirit. He left behind an incredible legacy for his wife, children, and many others to be encouraged by.

Hello!

Okay, so I am way overdue for a blog post, but before I go and make up a whole bunch of excuses, I'll just be genuinely honest - I'm terrible at keeping up a blog. Tonight, though, I thought I'd drop in. Yes, I am still alive. No, my life is not exciting enough to keep you reading several posts a week. But hey, I'm drinking raspberry tea in celebration of spring-that's-almost-summer (even though it's pretty much the exact same thing as winter down here in Florida) and somehow it gave me the tiniest jolt of motivation.

Things have been good here in Florida since I last posted something of substance. We've had a lot of rain lately, but the temperature has been consistently just-about-perfect. We're trying to enjoy the weather, and the fact that we don't need air conditioning or heat, before the hot, humid summer works its way into our lives again.

Keagan finished Introductory Flight School (IFS), which ended in a solo flight. It was awesome for him to get back in the air again. Now, he is in the midst of Advanced Preflight Indoctrination (API), studying like crazy. He does get a little more down time than he did in Virginia, but he is still working very hard and I am very proud.

I've been volunteering at the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society a few days a week and love every day of it. I finished my Bookkeeping and Administrative Assistant classes last week, and will take a certification exam next week. I've also had a whole bunch of job interviews...but I don't really want to go down that road right now. :)

We've both been enjoying a good amount of time together and also enjoy getting more involved with our Lifegroup at church (making new friends!).

Zulu suddenly decided that she likes learning (but most likely just the new treats we got her...) and has learned a bunch of new tricks. She also has become a lot more enjoyable to walk, thanks to our new walking collar. Seriously. It's the best puppy investment so far.

Our friend Petra came down from Minnesota to visit us for a week. We loved having company (and a guest room!) and enjoyed visiting the Pensacola lighthouse, Fort Pickens, a few different beaches, eating fish, and lots of catching up. If only we could keep her here... :)

I had a birthday, and enjoyed sweet messages, as well as some thoughtful gifts. Birthdays are okay sometimes. I treated myself, and bought a keyboard. Of course I had to let my mom know right away so she could send me my favorite piano books in the mail. Moms truly are the best.

Oh, and we are still talking about the HIMYM finale at least twice a week....

:) Happy Weekend!!

Routine

I just got home from dropping a friend off at the airport an hour ago. Keagan and I quickly tried out Zulu's new leash that came in the mail and then I sat down with a cup of Chai to catch up on my routine. It's embarrassing when I think about just how much I rely on routine in my life. The past couple weeks have been busy. I had schedule bubbling to the brim two weeks ago and then enjoyed the past week catching up with a faithful hometown friend and showing her my new home state. During those weeks, I was able to toss my routine out the window a bit and focus on the things that life was passing out so generously. How strange it is, though, that the minute things calm down, I'm willingly going back to the routine like I can't live without it.

It's a struggle for me, it really is. I get so deeply acquainted with my habits - the ones that I think keep me stable - but really they just tie me down to a boring safety. Yes, routine can be good, but it can also be suffocating for a mind that is trying to stay open and creative. Am I really living when I sit down at the same time each day to do the same tasks I do every week? I don't think so. Is it important to get work done? Yes. But is it necessary to hold to the routine of getting work done so tightly that I can't allow a little spontaneity to seep in and keep me fresh? Life is more exciting and I'm more available to others when life's not scripted and I'm trying to remember that.

So tonight, I'm going to sit with my Chai and blog a short post instead of catching up on emails. Then, I'm not going to do anything that I planned. Selfish? I don't know. But tonight, I don't want to be friends with routine.

Not Working.

Let me tell you about a previous time in my life, specifically high school. Whether it was a true inner-drive, or pressure to "be something," I took on every possible activity and job that I could. I dove head first into almost every extra-curricular that our tiny school offered. I worked as many hours as I could at our local swimming pool. I worked hard on my schoolwork. I did whatever I possibly could do to be busy, and stay busy. Moving on to college- I tried my best to graduate as quickly as possible. I got a job and worked as often as possible. I did my best to get promoted. I succeeded. Then, I graduated. In the time between graduating college and getting married, I worked two jobs. After getting married and moving, I tried to get a job as soon as possible, and when I did, it felt good.

~~~

Looking back, being busy is what had defined me. I know that I thirsted for the satisfaction that it felt to work hard and have someone notice. I was motivated by chasing an intimidating schedule- one that looked "impressive." Being busy had always left me feeling fulfilled (either that or it left no time for me to feel unfulfilled). Regardless, I think I was pretty darn happy filling my life with what felt like meaningful activities.

Then, we moved to Virginia. I applied to about 30 jobs and didn't even hear my phone ring for an interview once. I got a few emails back, sure, but only to tell me that I was either under-qualified (because I didn't have enough experience) or overqualified (because of my Bachelor's degree). I was told I wasn't wanted if I wasn't going to be around very long. I was told my resume looked weak because of all of the moving around. I quickly learned that finding a job as a military-spouse is not easy (but that's a whole other topic for another time).

Pretty soon two months had passed. I was still sitting at home filling out endless job applications and feeling so very unimpressive. You see, in the past, I took a lot of pride in working. I got a job as soon as I was old enough to. I worked seven jobs after that and loved every one of them. Working made me feel...like what I did mattered somehow.

I had people tell me how lucky I was - I got to move across the country with my husband and was able to stay at home and not work, which should have been awesome, right?? It certainly didn't feel that way to me. Sure, I kept busy with other tasks - like keeping a spotless apartment (you should have seen our ceiling fan blades), keeping the husband fed (no easy task), grocery shopping, and running errands. But to me, I just felt guilty. I felt guilty for having free time. I felt guilty for not having a super busy schedule. I felt guilty for not working. I felt guilty for not doing, becoming, or being. My schedule (or lack of it) was suddenly daunting and intimidating. I had a blank page before me and I hated it. I became very self-conscious and dreaded the question, "What do you do?" I found it was very easy to feel unaccomplished when, by my own former definitions, I was not doing anything significant.

In a time that I should have been fully enjoying, I spent more time feeling sorry for myself than I ever should have. As the months went by, I came to a very, very low point. It was at that point that I decided I wanted to turn things around and I'm still working on doing that.

~~~

I tried to write this post so many times and gave up in the process. I typed so many paragraphs and deleted them. I worried about sounding whiny, or like I didn't try hard enough. But I wanted to write it anyways, because I'm hoping there's someone else out there that has felt or feels the same way. I realize that every is different- so maybe you are someone who should be career-focused. That's okay, but that's not me.

Oh man, it hasn't been easy. I have years of skewed thinking that I have to erase and rewrite. The way that I allowed myself to be wired, has to be untangled and rewired. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there. Here's what I've been trying to focus on.

1. Devoting myself fully to what I can do and what this season offers. Instead of letting myself feel guilty and unfulfilled, I've been working to let myself live fully in this season. I've pulled out my long-time favorite verse, Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens and tried to focus on it. Maybe, this season in my life is not to work in the way that I have in the past, but instead to work towards providing a comfortable, and welcoming home for our little family. Maybe it's time to work towards developing new skills and hobbies that I never made time for before. Maybe it's time to relearn what it means to be fulfilled. Maybe it's time to learn to be disciplined in other ways.

2. Eliminating guilt and accepting joy. I'm trying to remind myself that cooking, and cleaning, and running errands is rewarding work. Sure, I have more free time in my life than I've had in as long as I can remember, but that is not a bad thing. It is a blessing - one to fully embrace. Feeling guilty for getting to do enjoyable activities is not a healthy mindset to have. Instead, I'm learning to let myself slow-down, discover, enjoy, and embrace. I'm learning to have a healthy balance in my life, and it's wonderful.

3. Re-evaluating my priorities and interests. In past years, I was very career focused. I went to college with one career in mind and thought that's where my future would reside. Well, I ended up getting an undergrad degree that I can't do anything with unless I go to grad school, and in the meantime, I decided that career was not where I saw myself. Through this journey of unemployment, I've realized that a career does not define me, and I don't want it to. I do not want a career that consumes me as much as that one would have. I want to be more focused on how I live my life and serve my family. If that means taking a job I normally wouldn't, or not having a job at all, that's okay. Seasons will change, and I want to be flexible and available to embrace them.

4. Adjusting. I've discovered that I can't just waste time because I don't have a job, but instead I should use that time wisely. At first, it was easy to let the days go by quickly, without accomplishing anything. I was so used to being so busy that I didn't know how to fill up the blank space on my schedule. I had to learn that planning was my best friend, and even if it seemed silly to write "clean the burners" on my schedule, I got things done and felt good about them. Now, I'm trying to use my extra free time to take classes for a career that fits my desires better. I recently began volunteering for an organization I really appreciate. I've taken on projects at home that normally would be on the "If I Had Time List". I know I will have to adjust as the seasons change, and I'm okay with that.

Yes, I want to go back to work someday. Maybe even in the not so distant future. I know it'll be a challenge to get back to work, but for now, I'm working hard in other ways that are fulfilling and rewarding. I am not wasting my time, and I am not allowing myself to feel guilty.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Titus 2:4-5 - ..urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind...
Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man.

Flori-bama

Sometimes I forget that we live in Florida, because it doesn't always look or feel like it. Pensacola is a far cry from Orlando or Miami, and we're reminded constantly that even though we're in Florida, we're basically Alabama. But lately, the weather here has reminded me that we are, indeed, in Florida. It has been absolutely dreamy, like - leave the patio door open all day, dreamy. I'm loving how our electric bill is going to look already. I'm going for longer and more leisurely walks and embracing the fact I can wear jeans or shorts, whatever I feel like. I'm so satisfied with the fact that we've had thunderstorms lately- they feel like home.

Since I've written, life has been good. It's been comfortable. It's been peaceful. I've felt spoiled. But, it's also been hard. For some reason, my energy and motivation have just been pulled from my body and every day I have to focus harder on my attitude. So, I'm sorry that I haven't written much, but I'm trying to get my balance back. I've been flipping through my 50 Promises memory verse cards (designed by my inspiring friend, Summer). They have reminded me over and over again where true joy and security is found and helped redirect me to a better attitude.

After three cancelled flights, Keagan finally (literally two minutes ago) finished his first flight at IFS! Oh, man. He isn't even home yet, but I'm excited to hopefully see him excited. We have been waiting awhile for this. He has passed through the drudgery of the "book" portion of IFS and now has 15 hours of flight to complete. Then, hopefully they'll be able to have him start Stage 2 of 3 here in Pensacola: API. Oh, and he made us the most delicious meal on Valentine's Day. I would take that over chocolates and flowers any day.

Volunteering has been going so well. I really appreciate the people that I work with and found an unexpected friend. It's so nice to work with people who have gone through the military life and can offer advice and encouragement. I'm really appreciating this opportunity and hope that it will help me gain good experience for the daunting job search.

The last couple days of February and dwindling down and I can't believe it. We've been here almost three months and the time is going so much faster than it did for us in Virginia.

To all of my friends and family back home - stay warm...or come visit. :)

Writing in Order to Function.

There are times where I simply can't function properly until I sit down and write. And a lot of the times, it's not even anything important, or the tiniest bit interesting. So, most of the time I don't publish the nonsense that passes from my brain, to the tips of my fingertips, typing away at my little black laptop. But somehow, it feels good to write. Just to get thoughts from point A to point B. Just recording a little bit of normalcy onto a blank slate.

I don't know why; I just do it, because once I do it, then I can move on to sorting the papers piling up in the office, mailing our tax forms, working on my classes, and vacuuming the rugs. Note: I cannot spell vacuum right...like ever.

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I'm almost always cold. Even when our apartment is 72°, without the heat on, or the air conditioning on. I'm still cold. So, on go the cheetah print slippers and the blue fuzzy robe.

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I went to get groceries today. I tend to put off this task, until I can't anymore. Then, the day that I have to go is of course the drizzliest, grayest, coldest, grossest, day. It really never fails. It may seem strange (and a little bit invasive), but I love looking at what other people put in their shopping carts. Something about seeing the food items they select, gives me a little inspiration. I try to guess what they're making that week. I try to guess if they have kids at home or not. I get ideas for what I should make next week. I see an item I sort of forgot existed, and then I get really excited about Zucchini again.

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Ah, now that I've jotted a few thoughts down, I feel like I can vacuum. (I spelled it right the first time, this time). See, not important. Not the tiniest bit interesting. But it's done.

Just dropping in

A week and a half ago, Pensacola had an ice-storm. Well, it was basically just ice, but in a city that's not built for or prepared for ice...everything shut down. The schools had closed for two days before the temperatures even dropped into the 40's and there was only a chance of ice. It was strange looking out the windows and seeing cars covered in ice. No one had scrapers to clean their windshields, the city didn't have trucks to salt the roadways, all of the bridges were shut down (even when the temperature was back to 50° and the sun was shining), and no one went to work. No one. The power went out in parts of town. We went outside, scraped the car off like pros, and tried to run errands. However, we were stopped when we came to a tiny little bridge that the police were blocking off. So, we went home and enjoyed our "ice day." Florida is a funny place to live.

Because of the ice-storm, Keagan started IFS on Friday the 31st, instead of Wednesday. Rather, he got to help me take care of 3 kids and 2 dogs for 3.5 days. Yep, we got to play "Mom" and "Dad" for awhile, while our friends took an anniversary trip to Tampa. Let me tell you, the pace we're used to was thrown out the window, but it wasn't so bad. We had fun stepping back to the land of fairy tales, dress-up, "hot lava", and more.

This past week, started out with Keagan reporting every day (and taking a few tests), and me interviewing and attending orientation for a new volunteer opportunity. We're both excited to move on to our new schedules, but are still enjoying the amount of "free-time" we get to spend together. The studying isn't so bad for Keagan yet, so I'm enjoying that while it lasts.

Other than that, things are pretty casual here. I've been looking for nice walking trails, and trying to train my dog not to throw all her good habits out the door as soon as we cross paths with someone else. (tips???) Keagan is trying to be as patient as possible while waiting to hop in a plane and fly. We're both watching bits and pieces of the Olympics and I was able to identify one of the skier's Minnesota accents and felt like a total dork.

Life's good here in Florida. It really is. We can't believe that a year ago we were still living in Iowa, not knowing when Keagan's career would start. So much has happened since then, and now, we're enjoying every second and every stage.

Booking it

I have never been more excited about reading than I am lately. I've been able to allowed myself to sit down and read more than ever before, and a generous addition to my book collection over Christmas has sparked the excitement even more. Combine that with hearing about books on the radio, combing through a new library, and accepting my Mom's English-teachery suggestions (she's either going to love or hate that I made that description up), I had to create an Up Next list for books. I've never imagined myself doing a book review post, but I've read so many good ones lately that I hope to pass on the excitement! Here's a quick peek at what I've been reading lately. Please grab one of them and curl up on your couch with a blanket and some tea. I know you're cold- this will warm you up.

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Shepherd's Abiding - Jan Karon I picked this gem up at the library the morning before Keagan and I hit the road for a 20-hour drive to Iowa. Although I didn't get around to reading the book on the way up, I started it during our vacation and finished it shortly after we got home. I've read Jan Karon's Mitford series before, and love the characters she's so gently placed into her fictional small town. Somehow, I always passed over this book, but decided to give it a go in the spirit of Christmas. If you've ever read a Mitford book, this does not disappoint. Every book is like going back to visit your hometown and reconnecting with the stories of those around you in the most delightful way. Karon's fiction is always an easy, delightful read, but also helps to challenge and inspire a faith-filled life of ministering to others while also pursuing balance in our own lives.

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Light From Heaven - Jan Karon Light from Heaven was another Mitford book I had missed. I also picked this one up before our long trip, and read it in a hurry before it's due date at the library. I'm glad I had missed this one, because it was so exciting to enjoy further tales of Father Tim and Cynthia that I didn't know existed! What an indulging read. Karon shifts away from Mitford a bit, as Father Tim and Cynthia take on a new adventure at Meadowgate Farm and beyond. Many of the favorite Mitford characters are present, but Karon also introduces us to a whole new crew of people I desperately wish were real. Of course, she can't resist throwing in a surprise here and there, and the last page will have you in tears. If you haven't read #9 of the Mitford series, please do. If you haven't read any book of the Mitford series, get to your library ASAP.

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The House of the Scorpion - Nancy Farmer When I told my brother-in-law that I wanted a book with his stamp of approval for Christmas, he gifted me this. This book is not a normal Hannah book. It's a little more sci-fi than I usually enjoy, and when I opened it I went in with the expectation that I was going to put it away after a couple chapters. However, I was proven wrong. Farmer's story-telling was simple, yet intriguing and I read it in less than a week. The main character, Matt, journeys through different levels of self-awareness, societal acceptance, safety, friendship, trust, and moral dilemmas. This journey is intertwined with his growing awareness of the dysfunctional family he is surrounded by, and later, a society completely new to him. If you're looking for something a little different than your normal reading, check it out.  It's technically Young Adult Fiction, but I feel that it will appeal to any reader older than that. I may have ordered the sequel the night I finished reading it... Thanks Wyatt for the suggestion and helping me to enjoy something that I normally wouldn't give a chance!

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Love & War - Mary Matalin and James Carville This book is proof that my interests are expanding thanks to my very politically-minded husband. As we were listening to NPR one day (yes, we do that now), Mary Matalin was a guest on one of their shows. I immediately loved her. She was sarcastic, honest, and had the same kind of humor that I've always loved (the kind that runs rampant on the Hansen side of the family). She mentioned a book that she recently wrote with her husband, and I had to get it from the library right away. To be honest, the book was not as sarcastically funny as I expected, but I loved it just as well. Reading a memoir was a good change of style for me, although I didn't read it as fast as I generally read other books. Oh, man, was it good though. Mary's strong Republican background and beliefs are so strikingly paired with her husband James' strong Liberal beliefs. It's a good eye-opener to each side of the story and reading about their unlikely successful marriage was refreshing. This book is a great insight on the political life of Washington, D.C., and after living in the area, I found it even more compelling than I probably would have in the past. Even though it kept me up way too late, I couldn't put down the book until I finished the section on 9/11. Mary was working for VP Cheney in the White House at the time, and her recollection of that day and the days to follow made an event that my 10-year-old self didn't really understand so much more real. If you're looking for an honest, insightful, and entertaining read...go for this one. There's so much diversity- from politics, to marriage, to parenting, to later life in Louisiana. James and Mary tell a great story.

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Unbroken- Laura Hillenbrand So, I'm cheating a little bit because I read this one in June, but I still can't stop thinking about it and strongly suggest you get to it before it comes out as a movie this December. Do yourself a favor and read it. Now. I read it after seeing many good comments about it. After I read it, I told at least 8 people to read it and they all loved it. So don't wait. Get to it. I might just have to read it again.








Up Next:

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail - Cheryl Strayed
The Eliot Family Trilogy - Elizabeth Goudge
In the Company of Others - Jan Karon
The Lord of Opium - Nancy Farmer

I just realized I have 6 more books I want to add to this, but to avoid crazy book lady status, I'm not going to. Please give me grace and pretend you didn't read this sentence.

The Turquoise Dresser

So let's talk about that turquoise dresser sitting in the corner. It's really nothing special. It's old, very simple, and the drawers don't quite operate properly. But once upon a time, it called a farmhouse in Storden, MN home- the house that my mother grew up in. It eventually made it's way to our house in Jackson and later to Mountain Lake. Somehow, it ended up in my hands. At first, I tucked it away in my closet as extra storage. It sat in my closet, full of papers and stray ankle and knee braces, notebooks, and all sorts of other weird stuff. Then, the dresser made it to my first apartment in Mankato. It safely held my clothes for a year, and then made it's first move out of state, when Keagan and I moved into a farmhouse in Paullina, IA. It's first military relocation brought it to Stafford, VA, where it brightened up yet another room of white walls. Then, to Pensacola, FL it went. It sat for awhile, looking kind of awkward.

We had talked about the dresser for awhile- getting it fixed up and repainted, but the nostalgic part of me wouldn't quite let go. Honestly, I liked the odd turquoise color (despite it's many chips and scratches). It was unique. Looking at the dresser and remembering where it had been was a strange sort of comfort- it's really the only physical thing that's been everywhere I have been. I liked that it used to belong to my mother. I liked how in so many white-walled rooms, it added an interesting bit of color. Anyways, I'll move on from the boring backstory now. Point is. It's a dresser. It's kind of special to me, and we decided to paint it.

Early this week, thanks to another delay in Keagan's training and my classes, we decided to finally tackle a couple of projects we've been putting off. We made the guest bathroom an acceptable place and started to work on our bedroom. We picked out a comforter, curtains, and a couple of big mirrors that were on sale (yay!!). And then, we picked up some paint. You see, as much as the turquoise colored dresser was unique...it really needed help.

We made a game plan and got to work. First, we stripped the paint. It was messy, and took a couple of coats, but worked pretty well.

Then, after sanding out the imperfections as well as we could, we used a spray primer to get it ready for painting. (Later, we realized that priming the entire dresser was totally not necessary. The drawers were all that really needed it).

Then, we got to the fun part. I went to work painting the outside of the dresser, while Keagan sat to do the math for the drawers. It was all fun and games, until we realized that our chocolate-brown was really not anything close to chocolate brown and prompted us to come up with some less-than-nice names for the paint color...

But life goes on, and we picked up a new, darker paint color that looked way more like perfectly-rich-and-delicious-chocolate and less like pond-scum-booger-slime-greenish-brown.

Keagan, the brains of this project, taped up the drawers and we painted the blocks. We found out that peeling the painting tape off while the paint is still wet is the way to go. Our lines were way more perfect than we expected them to be. After letting layer two of the paint dry, we added the new handles.

And then it was done! It was so fun to work on this project together. We were both itching to work on something, anything. Having a lot of free time is great, for awhile, but we are definitely at the point where we needed something to help us feel accomplished. We're loving the new look. And even though it's not a unique turquoise, I love that it's still the same dresser, still has the same history, and is now evidence of a project we worked on together.

Photobooking Virginia

One of the things that I'm slowly learning about military life is how to embrace each spot that we are placed,but also how to let go of it in a positive way when it is time to move on. I'm not great at documenting life. Scrapbooking was never really my thing, I don't print out pictures like I used to, my journaling is sporadic, and I tend to get overwhelmed trying to keep up with documentation. In the past, when I've tried to organize memories, they just end up as half-finished projects sitting in boxes.

One thing I decided I must document, though, is each home that we live in. I know that through the course of Keagan's military career (and maybe even after that), we will live in many homes. I want to remember each place for what it is- a place for memories, growth, and life. I decided that the easiest and most efficient way for me to do this would be to create a small photobook of each house. Throughout the time that we live in each place, my goal is to take pictures of every room, the scenery of the neighborhood, places we visit, and everyday moments. I try to capture pictures of what made each place feel like home to us. Then, after we move I force myself to sit down for however long it takes, and put them into book form.

 I'm kind of bad at it. I've realized that I am way too picky when it comes to designing photobooks. It's hard for me to narrow down pictures to only the ones with the most meaning. It's hard for me to arrange them in a layout and order exactly how I want them without spending an insane amount of time on the project. It drives me crazy, for almost a full day, but then it's done.

So far, I've been so happy with the two books I have made. I love flipping through them and remembering the beauty of each place. I'm excited that someday if we have kids, they'll be able to open the books and know about each place that we've been. I feel that where we've been and what we've done is something to celebrate and cherish, so I'm glad that I have these reminders of our life in each place.

For both of our books so far, I've used Shutterfly's 8 x 8 hardcover book. I decided that I'd always go with whatever site offered the best coupon or deal at the time, and so far it's been Shutterfly both times. Now that I'm used to their system, I might stick with them. Plus, I kind of like the uniformity of the books. Shutterfly's photobook system is pretty easy to work with, once you figure out it's kinks. I've gone the custom route (because I'm picky, remember) both times, but using the Autofill feature would work great too, I'm sure! I probably spent a full day on each book, but to me, it's worth it.

This time around, I altered things a little bit. Instead of just including pictures of our house/yard, like I did in Iowa, I included a cover page with "key phrases"- events that happened/memories while we were in Virginia. I also added a couple pages of pictures of "life" in the back. Since I've accepted the fact that I probably won't get around to documenting our lives in a bigger way, I figured a couple extra pages of pictures (even if they aren't related to our house or apartment) would be worth it.

 Check out a digital version of our Virginia book below!
If you're interested, here's a link to our Iowa book.

Click here to view this photo book larger

The new way to make a photo album: photo books by Shutterfly.

So far in Florida...

It's not as sunny as we expected. We've had a lot of rain and a couple of thunderstorms.

I'm amazed at how much sand gets trampled into our apartment.

We're laughing at how often we get teased for how we dress. Apparently 60° is not as warm as we think it is back home.

Keagan has not started Introductory Flight School yet (thanks to some miscommunication...of course). His start date is unknown.

Keagan has consequently been playing a lot of Halo. :)

We found a big Baptist church to attend.

We're slowly picking up Alabama accents thanks to the radio...

I'm spending a lot of time talking to customer service representatives. I think working as one last year makes it harder for me to sit through some of their antics..

We're laughing at the absolutely hideous military-issued glasses that Keagan is lucky enough to wear and realizing how expensive glasses really are (neither of us have had glasses before).

I'm trying to find a good recipe with churizo. Two have been disappointing so far.

We're fighting over the leftover guacamole.

I'm loving having extra time to read (for fun!) while waiting for my next class' book to come in the mail.

We're watching Parks & Rec, Modern Family, The Middle, and How I Met Your Mother. (I've never watched this much TV before!)

I'm trying to remind myself that having to paint everything back to white in a year or so is a very good reason not to paint the entire apartment...

I'm trying not to give up on the 1000 piece puzzle in the corner of our living room.

We're enjoying a year without a winter, although we might miss it eventually.

We're content with where we're at and making the most of the phase we're in.

Zulu Meets the Gulf of Mexico

It's pretty obvious that I've become a little bit of a crazy dog lady since Zulu came into our lives, but seriously, I've been amazed by how much joy a little creature can bring to a human's life. So, I'm sorry if you're getting bored of hearing about our dog or seeing the million pictures I take of her, but I simply can't help it. She's the most exciting part of our lives. ;)

On Tuesday, we decided to take advantage of a sunny (and fairly warm) day and took Zulu to the beach on base. We've enjoyed visiting this particular beach because it is quiet, relaxing, and because it reminds me a little bit of the beach in Anne of Green Gables...


This was Zulu's first time on the beach, and it was obvious that she loved it. When we let her off the leash, she ran as fast as she could, kicking up the sand, and chasing birds. She even got brave enough to take a dunk in the water- unfortunately, she was a little shocked by a cold wave swallowing her up. She got out of the water as quickly as she ran in.

It was nice to get outside and enjoy a little sun. We enjoyed sitting, relaxing, laughing at Zulu, and watching planes and helicopters fly around. Being on a military base is fun. Keagan is very anxious to start his next phase of training, but hey, getting to enjoy afternoons like this makes the wait a little less unpleasant.

Battleship Memorial Park

One thing (of many things) that is awesome about being married to someone in the military? Gaining new interests. Before Keagan and I started dating, I rarely set foot in museums, much less military museums. Military history was just eh to me. Sure, I thought it was alright, but I would have never gone out of my way to learn more. Now, thanks to Keagan's interests and career choice (and always living close to military installations), I've developed a whole new appreciation for all things military. Marriage is cool like that.

Last weekend, we got in the car, turned on NPR, and journeyed to Mobile, AL (we only live15 minutes from the Alabama border) and visited Battleship Memorial Park. The park is free to visit for active duty military and offers a discounted rate for any guests of an active duty military member. The biggest attraction of the park is probably the USS Alabama, but the park also offers a hanger filled with military planes, an old submarine to tour, and military aircraft and tanks scattered throughout the outdoor portion of the park.

Walking into the USS Alabama was like taking a step back in time to the WWII era. We were able to tour both the outside and inside of the ship. The rooms were set up with props (and original memorabilia); it was almost like we were on the ship as it was in the 40s.

 We were able to see sleeping quarters (some just in the middle of the hallway), cafeterias, bakeries, doctor offices, dentist chairs, chapels, and post offices. It's amazing how ships can be their own floating villages. I decided that as much as I appreciate that time period and find it fascinating, living on a ship would get old fast. I don't think one could survive as a claustrophobic sailor.

 As I mentioned, we were also able to tour an old submarine. If I thought it'd be hard to be claustrophobic on a ship, a submarine would be way worse. I couldn't believe how tight everything was packed. Yet, it was still very interesting to see what life on a submarine would be like.

 The rest of the afternoon was spent wandering through the park as Keagan quizzed me on the names of tanks and aircraft (I failed...). Nevertheless, it was interesting to hear stories about the different models and when they were used. My husband's knowledge of the military always surprises me. Someday I'll remember which tank is which, Keagan. Someday.