blog spill

apparently not blogging in a long time has lead to having to blog all the time.
i'm not even publishing all i type.
i guess being busy lead to me not really letting my thoughts out.
and now i'm not so busy, so here they come.
or maybe my thoughts were ones that should be kept to myself, not even this blog.
i don't know.

motivation.
i'm not finding it today.
guess when you have nothing you have to do, nothing really gets done.

it'll be nice to start that job next week.

i could be a homemaker, i think.
but only when life gets busier.
for now i just don't have enough to make me feel accomplished, i guess.
except when the husband comes home and tells me he loves me.
and the house is clean.
and there's food to eat.
and everything's taken care of.
i guess that's alright. :)

i wish i had some sort of "work from home" venture i could do.
i wish i were more artsy.
or maybe really good at cooking.
i wish i wouldn't beat myself up and realize that i'm me for a reason.
and that's an awesome thing.
i almost deleted this, because i felt lame.
but then i left it because this is just a venue for me to get thoughts out.

i'm working on my self-appreciation.
but still looking for just what it is that makes me...me.
it's a process.
and there's nothing wrong with that.
i'm growing.
and i'm determined to keep growing.

hearts and minds are echo-y places sometimes.

i love music.
i hate paying for it.
i'm not much for spending money.
it makes me feel a little guilty sometimes.

sigh.

hannah's wednesday thoughts.
it's okay to be melancholy.
at least for a little while.