so far in 2013...

i'm in a bit of a whirlwind, mentally.

there's a lot coming up-

• a move in may to virginia, followed by a move to florida 6 months later
• quickly learning the marine-wife lifestyle
• looking for some kind of work in the midst of moving often for the next 1 1/2 years

and with all of that, it doesn't really help that we only have an estimate for when we're moving or what kind of housing we can even look at. yikes. i'm learning to be patient and trusting (at least trying to). i don't really have much of a choice. and for the most part...i'm okay with that. it is a bit intimidating though.

we have been waiting for months to take the next step in keagan's career. originally, when we got engaged in february, we were expecting a september wedding, followed by a move in november. due to many knots to untie and figure out, we didn't find out until november that he is to report to TBS in may. that meant a bit of life-shifting decisions. i got a part-time job, he continues to work with his brother. and in the meantime...we wait. it has been 17 months since keagan completed his first set of training. that's a long time to wait anxiously. but, it has been okay. we've been enjoying living close to his family, and not too far from mine. it's a nice, relaxing way to start out marriage. rather than training for long days (and nights), he works pretty regular hours. still, it's been hard to invest in the "here and now" knowing that it won't last. and the longer we wait, the more lackadaisical i get. i'm afraid that when it's finally time to jump into real military life...i'm going to be shocked and not necessarily ready.

i know this is the kind of thing i need to get used to, and for the most part i really do have a positive attitude about it. i'm excited for the journey, but i'm also at a bit of a "i have no idea what to do with myself" phase.

since shortly before the new year, i have been thinking a lot about goals, hobbies, and things i want to do with life. pretty cliche, yes, but i think it's important. to be honest, i've spent most of my life, thus far, so busy that i don't really make time for creativity or hobbies. i often wish i were taking part in them, but i've never made them a part of my life. moving forward in 2013, i know i'll be busy...but also have more down time than ever. instead of wasting it away, i really want to do something with it. i'm stuck in the "what" stage, though. ideally, i'd love to do something that could earn money while working from home. it'd be the most convenient with our upcoming moves. i've been struggling with what though. i'm not necessarily artsy and i feel like i don't have a whole lot to give in that regard. but i'm brainstorming.

i'm also thinking of hobbies. maybe blogging in a more public sense? there are a few of you out there who ever read this...and i don't blame you. :) right now this blog is more targeted as a journal for me...not for public interest. i mean, seriously...if you've gotten this far in the post, you must be really bored! :) but blogging could be a nice, creative outlet in the near future- maybe a way to log and tell our story, and a way to reach out to other military wives, or people who are simply interested.

blogging publicly scares me a bit though. i've never been great at "the internet." particularily, internet design. i don't know anything about HTML, designing texts, yadda, yadda, i literally know nothing. i could learn...but i have no idea where to even start. blogging publicly also scare me in the sense that i have a history of comparing myself to others and letting my insecurities get the best of me. if i blog, what kind of material should i share? once again...i feel like i don't have much to offer, but maybe it could be a fun journey.

anyways, sorry if you read all of this looking for something worthwhile. really, it was a "hannah dump" post. one just to get my thoughts out. plus, i'm sitting at work on a really slow day and i needed something to occupy my mind. :)

in the meantime, i'm working on little things. i have decided to:

• memorize 1 bible verse a week. i've always been horrible about memorization, so i set this goal. i will be hanging each week's verse on our bathroom mirror. that way, every time i see it...i run it through my mind. i'm going for it!
• learn more about my camera. i don't have a super fancy camera, but i have a nice, modest one. i've always loved taking pictures, but i know nothing about actual photography. so that's my goal. i've already learned a few of the basics, and i can't wait to try them out! photography is going to be a big creative outlet for me in our future moves- as well as a way to show those back home what our life currently looks like. plus, i'd love to have memories of each place we live and travel. my goal is to make a book of each "temporary home." 

and that's that. my hands are tired and i've drug on long enough.

thee end :)